EmmyEve

There are certain nights, usually the few that you fall asleep before me, that make me begin to doubt myself. What am I really doing? What can I possibly expect to come from this? Who else could I be hurting now? Haven't I done enough of that already? And then there's him. Oh goodness, the rage, the anger, the fear and sadness. What have I done to deserve that from him? What have any of us done? Absolutely nothing. But you, you are the one I want to please. You are the one I want safe and happy and alive. Well, and then there's her. I miss her. I miss all of them. But I mostly miss you.

Dark surrounds me, no need to close my eyes. Pictures flood my mind. Thoughts of you as I try to sleep keep me awake and aware that you are not here. Shield my face from you , I might. But I long to forever be under your gaze. I dream of the nights where your eyes will never leave me. I dream of the days that we spend staring. Reach out to touch what I can not capture. The cold hint of a screen graces my fingers. I miss the smell of your skin. I miss the touch of your hair on my face. You are mine, you claim. But I do not have you. I remember when you held me in your arms. I remember your teeth to my neck in sweet bl

Every once in a while, I feel kinda down. Things are hard and slow, When I'm away from my home town. Every now and again, I have trouble on my own. Its hard to hold my head up, When I feel so alone. Sometimes, My thoughts get carried away, To the past and what could have been. How would it change today? From time to time, I feel like giving in. I feel sick and lonely, and so full of sin. Today's a new day, a day to start over. The only problem is, I don't wanna bother.